Hulkster vs Macho Man - a Musical Battle

Just yesterday, my friend Shelby posted a classic Macho Man Slim Jim commercial to my Facebook page.  Yeah, that brought up a lot of memories of one of my all-time favorite WWF Superstars.

Miss Elizabeth couldn't pick her favorite Mega Powers record... and that's what eventually killed her.  RIP Miss Elizabeth.

But imagine my shock and surprize to learn that she had never heard Randy Savage's rap album.

Nine out of Five stars.

Wait... you mean, YOU'VE NEVER HEARD IT EITHER???

Both "Macho Man" Randy Savage and Hulk Hogan took a break from the ring to release their own albums at one point in their career.  And only two words can truly describe these albums:

BRILLIANT STUPENDOUS CONCEPT ALBUMS.

When I was first getting into WWF (sorry, I refuse to call it WWE) Wrestling in the late 80s, the Mega Powers had just exploded at Wrestlemania V, leading to one of the biggest hyped main events of all-time: Hulk Hogan versus Randy "Macho Man" Savage.

Not only was the WWF Heavyweight Title on the line, but so was Miss Elizabeth's loyalty.

Ever since then, these two have hated each other - even in real life... and probably death too, because Macho Man is unfortunately dropping flying elbows up in heaven these days.  Well, I'm not too certain that the hatred went both ways.  Savage definitely hated Hogan, but I don't think Hulk Hogan can possibly hate anybody.  As long as the Hulkster gets his own way, he's a happy heavyweight champ.

Truly emotional.

Okay, so which wrestling superstar was actually better?  It's a tough one to compare in the ring.  Hulk Hogan was WWF champion more times than Macho Man was.  But, Macho Man was actually a better in-ring performer.  Both were featured in Hollywood movies - let's not forget Macho Man appeared in Spider-Man as Bonesaw and I truly believe Hogan should have won an Academy Award for his portayal of The WWF Heavyweight Champion "Rip" in No Holds Barred.  Nobody but Hulk Hogan could have done as solid of an acting job of bringing Hulk Hogan to life on the big screen.

I think the only way to settle the score once and for all, then, is to compare their albums.  Yep, I've listened to them.  All the way through.  More than once.  More than ten times.  I'm listening to them again right now.

Below you can listen to the entire album, "Be A Man" by Macho Man Randy Savage.  It's a beautiful thing in which you can listen to Savage call out Hogan as a punk, rap a few times about how he's back (at least three different songs), and get sentimental about his dead wrestling buddy, Mr. Perfect.

 

And that was the Hulkster's song, "Hulkster In Heaven" - all about a little boy who died in the hospital, and how sad it is that he won't be able to be the number one Hulkamaniac anymore.  Yeah, that's some real heavy shit there.

For some reason (probably good taste and not copyright) the entire album isn't on YouTube, but here's a link so you can listen to most of "Hulk Rules":

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YsI5bfUIYHQ&list=PL-PdUU-mU5BIISfAjJ1MPPGoiUxFj0d9f

"Smell my finger, brother!"

So, who had the better album?  Would you be surprized to learn that the Hulkster actually plays the bass?  I sure was.  Just as surprized as I was to hear that MACHO MAN CAN ACTUALLY FUCKING RAP.

So the big question is, Is Macho Man's rap album better than Hulk Hogan's self-indulgent tribute album?

Oooooooh yeah!

- ryan

PS - How awesome would it be if Hulk Hogan did a cover album now of Macho Man's rap album?