Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Alex Trebek's Mustache

It seemed like one day the world was about to end. This was the day Alex Trebek released himself from the bonds of his manly mustache. It was a total culture shock, to be sure. We didn't know who Mr. Trebek was outside of his 'stache. We really only knew that he hosted Jeopardy every night at 7:30, and that he had a swell mustache. In fact, it's the only mustache to ever rival Victor Newman's.

There was a time in which we all associated Alex with his mustache. That must've been hard for any gameshow host. It's clear that Alex emancipated himself from his upper lip hair before he went crazy.

But what has Alex's 'stache been up to for the last ten or so years?
I'm glad you asked. And I'm glad you asked in the form of a question.

The 'stache has recently been seen on Mount Rushmore and even made a brief appearance on Britney Spears.


You might say that Britney's comeback success could be a direct result of her association with Mr. Trebek's mustache. You might not. But I'm going to.

In an attempt to regain the confidence of frequent flyers after September 11, Alex's 'stache took over flying duties on several major airlines. It was his way of saying "Don't worry baby. Everything's going to be just fine." And the only problem with planes since was a few poisonous snakes. But Samuel L. Jackson took care of that problem for us.


And yes, even yours truly got accquainted with the 'stache. Heck, I could be Alex's stunt double with that thing on. Or maybe, just maybe, his Daily Double Stunt Double...?

I'd also like to point out that when Trebek is 'stache-less (is that even a word?) he sorta looks like one of my closest friends, Mr. Peter Fairley. Coincidently, Peter shaved off his goatee around the same time Trebek parted ways with his mustache.

And on that note, I need more Dayquil.
- ryan

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