Top 11 Things I Love & Hate About Summer

Summer is here! Who doesn't love summertime?

Top 11 Things I Love About Summer
11. Hot Fudge Sundaes at DQ after a long day at work.
10. Scantily clad young women walking around in public.
9. That moment when you're out and about downtown and someone drives by slowly, blaring GnFnR's "Sweet Child O' Mine" out of their car, thus signalling the true start of summer.
8. Having a BBQ, like my Annual "No Vegans Allowed BBQ".
7. Being able to wear sandals all day long.
6. The arousing aroma of Hawaiian Tropic sunscreens and tanning lotions.
5. Sitting on a pub patio with good friends and having good pints of beer.
4. When the ice cream man comes through your neighborhood and you lose your shit like Eddie Murphy in Delirious, shouting "ICE CREAM" and singing the "I Got Some Ice Cream Song", and everyone who got ice cream too joins in because, let's face it, everyone knows the words to that classic.
3. It's not winter, there's no snow, and I don't have to wear big and heavy coats/boots.
2. A day trip to the beach, to gaze at the beautiful young women in their bikinis and swimsuits.
1. Road hockey.

Top 11 Things I Hate About Summer
11. Long line-ups in the heat for Hot Fudge Sundaes at DQ, and when they skimp out on the fudge.
10. Scantily clad women who shouldn't be showing off what leftovers the good lord gave them.
9. That moment when you get in your buddy's car to go anywhere and they roll down their windows and begin blaring some shitty Keith Urban song.
8. Having a BBQ for your friends and not realizing you're out of propane, and whoops - anywhere that can refill it for you has closed down for the day.
7. After waring sandals all day long you realize your feet are, in fact, quite smelly.  And so does the person you're trying to have hot, drunk, summertime sex with.  Uh-oh!
6. The sunburn you get because instead of putting on the Hawaiian Tropic sunscreens and lotions you became distracted with smelling the bottles.
5. Sitting on a pub patio with good friends and being embarrassed by the fact that they're drinking (and really excited about drinking) a shitty "beer" like Bud Light Lime.
4. When the ice cream man comes through your neighborhood and you lose your shit, but then you reach into your pocket only to find that you don't have any cash because you pay for everything with Debit or Visa, so you offer the ice cream man a hand job in exchange for even a slightly melted Rocket - and he still turns you down.
3. Everyone who just spent six months complaining about how bad winter was are now complaining about the heat, the humidity, the roads, the electric bill they'll get because of their air conditioner, and/or all the little kids playing in the streets.
2. A day trip to the beach, but stuck in the "Dog Area" because one friend insisted on bringing their dog with them, and the only people who you see are other people who brought stupid dogs and nobody is having any fun at all.  And bikinis?  Nowhere to be seen... unless you count the idiot that bought a tiny one for their idiot dog.
1. Golf.  I really fucking hate golf.