Cyndi Lauper Is A Hot Old Lady

I'd do her.
There's just something really cool about Cyndi Lauper. She's on my list. You know, that list your significant other allows you to have. The list of celebrities you could sleep with if you ever had the chance. Yeah, Cyndi's on that list (along with Alicia Keys, Gwen Stefani, Taylor Swift, and a about three dozen porn stars). Cyndi was the crazy chick that you were almost scared to talk to in the 80s. You didn't know if she was going to kiss you or just start yelling in your face for no reason. And let's not forget that she hung out with WWF wrestlers. If you made one wrong comment about her legs she could send "Rowdy" Roddy Piper after you. Or the Iron Sheik. Lil' Miss Lauper continued her Betty-Boopish charm through the mid-80s and then disappeared for most of the 90s. But if you look now, you'll see that Cyndi has returned to the public eye and something's different. SHE'S A COUGAR! That's right, Cyndi Lauper become one super-hot woman. She has that look of experience in her eye that sends shivers down our spine while half of us dumb fucks try to figure out the meaning behind her song She Bop (Hint: Think "Jilling Off").


Even in today's fashion-throwbacks of the 80s Cyndi manages to shed away from her old self and maintain a sexy, classy, elegant look that gives us whiplash when she walks by. Add in the fact that she's a legitimate artist (check out the Sisters of Babylon album) and she'd be a great date. C'mon, she looks great in a dress and has intelligent conversations to back her up. I promised myself I wouldn't use an "All Through The Night" pun, and I'm not going to. You can come up with it yourself.

Her Influence
Cyndi Lauper doesn't get enough credit for her contribution to pop culture. If you've never seen the movie Girls Just Want To Have Fun, you're really missing out. It's some classic Sarah Jessica Parker and Helen Hunt before they were legitimate stars. They probably deny this movie exists, but it's really a lot of fun, and it was competely based and inspired by Cyndi's song of the same name.
Every time I see an interview with Gwen Stefani someone always asks her how much she was influenced by Madonna... but if you look at Gwen's music, videos, and fashion, it's crystal clear that there is a huge Cyndi Lauper influence in there. Cyndi Rules. Fuck Madonna. Oh wait, everyone already has.

Thanks for reading!
- ryan