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| Long Live Ryan. |
Remember when you were a kid, and for some of you I'm sure it wasn't that long ago, there was always one present you opened on Christmas Day that was a big surprise? I'm not talking about that one special item you put on top of your list to Santa (ie Uncle Jesse action figure) and you waited patiently for it until the 25th of December.
I'm talking about that one very thoughtful gift you never knew you wanted, but when you received it you couldn't possibly have ever lived without it before.
It seems we're all so concerned about filling someone's list. Checking off items to appease each other and keep each other happy. Or maybe because it's just easier that way.
Case in point - my dad visited me the other day while I was working. I had casually mentioned to him the day before that I'd like to have Bob Saget's book, "Dirty Daddy". This was our conversation:
"Hi son. That book... what section of the bookstore is it in?"
"Comedy."
"Good good. Do you know how much it is?"
"I dunno. Probably twenty-five bucks or so."
"Good... so listen, if Dana asks you what you want for Christmas... don't let her get you that book."
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| "B" is for thoughtfulness. |
When I first moved out on my own, that first Christmas away, my parents wrapped up a box of pancake mix and a bottle of Aunt Jemima syrup. It was one of the greatest gifts I have ever been given and I still think about it today. I didn't need fancy electronics or new jeans. I need some goddam pancakes.
I actually spend too much time doing my Christmas shopping. I rarely just grab something off the shelf just because it's the $9.99 price point and easy to wrap. I said "rarely" because there is one person I have to shop for that every year I go out of my way to buy them the stupidest, most pointless thing I can find... but even that takes a bit of thoughtfulness. Seriously, I put a lot of thought into buying something pointless (to me) and they end up loving it every year.
Even my wonderful wife is guilty of checking off items on a list. She'll ask me what I want and then tell me I'm very difficult to shop for. In all truth, I am the type of person who will just go and buy something if I want it. I'm a very spur-of-the-moment consumer. This is no joke, if there's a package of peanut butter cups by the cash register I'll buy it. If there's something Aerosmith-related by the cash register and I don't already have it, I'll buy six of them. If I already have it, I might just grab one in case my house gets broken in to and that item is stolen before I can get home.
But I always tell my lovely wife how easy I am to shop for. I'm a marketer's dream. Just slap a Bruins "B" or the Aerosmith "A" or a Superman "S" on a cup, keychain, drum sticks, bottle opener, or nuclear warhead and I'll love it as a gift. Now that I put that to writing, I might just be a sucker for things with a letter associated in their logo.
Note: I have a pair of Aerosmith drum sticks but I do not own a drum kit, nor do I know how to play that instrument. I can see them from where I'm sitting in my Fan Cave, and though I know they have no use to me whatsoever I love them dearly.
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| I drawed this up real good. |
Also, it's a well known fact that I like to draw. A gift for me could be a new sketchbook. Or some pencils. Or a beautiful naked woman that will live in my basement and act as a model for me whenever I feel like drawing. She could live off a diet of spaghetti and water. I'm sure she would like it. And I'm pretty sure that isn't illegal if it's a gift. I don't really know.
So, in closing, all I really want for Christmas is some thoughtfulness. And an Uncle Jesse action figure.
- ryan
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