There Isn't Enough Time In A Day

ooooh, it's artsy.

...there isn't enough time in a day.

Fuck that.  And fuck the people who insist on saying it.

There just isn't enough time in the day!

To do what?  What could you possibly need more than twenty-four hours to do each day?  Is your day really so packed full of going to work, raising your kids, cooking a meal, and taking a shower?  Heaven forbid you miss that newest episode of Glee!

We, as human beings, have our priorities so incredibly messed up and have put ourselves on such a high pedestal that we are actually blaming our problems now on the perceived lack of minutes and seconds magically floating around on a calendar day.

What the flippity fuck?

As far back as I can remember, an entire day has been twenty-four hours.  I'm about 99% sure that it's been that way for a few centuries now.  Something about how the sun rises and sets.  I'm not a scientist, just an observer.

Society and doctors within our society tell us that we need a good, full, eight hours of sleep each day to live a healthy, productive, and happy lifestyle.  That's great if you buy into that theory, but I personally don't know anyone who actually sleeps for eight hours on a regular basis.  Sure, you can buy a fancy new bed with all kinds of memory foam that molds to your well-fed buttocks, and will continue to mold as your fat ass keeps ingesting all those Big Macs and frozen TV dinners.  If that fancy bed doesn't work then you could always take your doctor up on that prescription to help you sleep better at night.  That's all the doctors really want from you anyway.

So if we all had a good eight hours of uninterrupted sleep, that would leave us with sixteen hours of time each day to get shit done.  Let's also knock another eight hours off of that for work.  If you only work part-time and are constantly bitching about how poor you are, then still knock off eight hours and assume five of that is for working and then actually use that extra three hours to find a job you'll be more happy with.  But you probably don't use that three hours wisely, because let's face it - you're still on the third mission of the new Call Of Duty game.  Here's a thought: join the army and GET PAID to play soldier.  Or become a professional pimp/car thief and put the GTA disc back in it's case.  It might be a great way to meet women too.

So there we have it - we have eight hours in a day to get shit done and enjoy our lives as human beings.

No, wait, we didn't take in account your commute to and from work.  And the time you eat dinner with your family.  And going to the bank.  And making love to your significant other.  And buying groceries.  And taking a big shit each day.  And actually cleaning your house. Filling up the gas tank in your car.  Reading a story to your child before bed.  Shoveling the driveway.  Mowing the lawn.  Shoveling AND mowing at the same time.  Brushing your teeth. Walking your dog.  Calling your mother.  Filing your taxes.  Taking another big shit because you eat too much fast food.

You get the point.

I know, I know... but all I wanna do when I get home is sit around and play my guitar.  I CAN'T miss the new episode of (*insert shitty reality show here*)!  I have to get my hair done.  I need to spend 90 minutes in the kitchen each day producing a well-crafted imitation of some gourmet recipe I saw on some cooking show on some stupid cooking channel because IT'S MY PASSION.  If I don't text this person right now and that person next and then text him and her and post this and tweet that and like this and favorite that I just won't be able to function!

It's called priorities, people.

Pri-fucking-orities.

I think it comes from the latin, which means "to get shit done."

And that's just it - we have lost all concept of what we need and somehow mixed in what we want and actually believe it's important to us and anyone else.

any lane.  any time.  do you have enough time for that?

And really, that's what the fast food companies want - they want us to feel like we don't have enough time in a day so we have to stop by their little "restaurants" to get a few extra value meals to fill our ever-expanding bellies.  And if you don't have enough time in your day for that, well there's also a goddam drive-thru.  Hell, you don't even need to leave your car.  Just eat it in there and toss your trash into one of the garbage cans on your route back home.  After all, you don't have enough time in the day to take out the trash.  Survivor's on tonight and you shan't miss it!

I don't even fucking drive a car and you don't hear me complaining about how much time I don't have.  This blog?  It's taken me about three days to write, off and on, because I'd rather sit on the floor with my two-year old daughter and spend thirty minutes doing some ridiculous Donald Duck jigsaw puzzle with her while the pork chops cook on the stove and I have a load of laundry in the dryer.

Priorities.

You know who really doesn't have enough time in a day?  That single mother who probably lives in your neighborhood.

I'm not talking about the stupid girl who got knocked up by her loser boyfriend that checked out before the kid's first birthday, but she keeps going back to him because she *loves* him so much even though he drinks and snorts coke and gives other girls other babies to take care of too.

No, no, I'm talking about the single mother who lost her husband tragically and now she's stuck working full-time with a part-time job on the side just to make ends meet and she barely gets to see her own kid throughout the day.  That woman would probably kill for an extra thirty minutes in a day.  She'd sell her goddam soul for one more hour added to her clock.  She's only getting five hours of sleep as it is, and she's functioning just fine.  Do you think she'd use that extra hour to watch the season finale of Dancing With The Stars?  No fucking way.  Bring out the Donald Duck puzzle for her.

There's not enough time in the day.  Jesus Christ.  You know how to fix it?  You can't just fly backwards around the world like at the end of the first Superman movie.  You don't have a DeLorean either.  Nope.  There's no easy way out, folks.  You want more time in a day?  You need to MAKE more time in a day.  And I'm not talking about creating a twenty-five o'clock here.

So go do it now, unless you think there's plenty of time for that later.

- ryan