Mrs. Claus Is A Total Babe

Just wait 'til she lets her hair down.

You know it's true.

When Kris Kringle started bringing toys to the dim village of Somberville, he wasn't just out to squash the plans of the evil  Burgermeister Meisterberger. No, no, au contraire mon ami, he was also looking for some lovin'.

Kringle was obviously a man of good taste, because he started putting the moves on Miss Jessica rather quickly. At first she wasn't sure of the man in the red suit giving toys away to all the good girls and boys. I imagine there's a deleted scene out there somewhere of Miss Jessica down at the police station checking up on Ol' Kringle to see if he has any kind of weird criminal record. And then when she finds out that the dude is completely clean, well, it's love. Aww, ain't that sweet.  Kind of like real life these days, eh?  You meet someone one some random hook-up site, then check to see if they have a criminal record or not.  Nobody has time these days to wait until the third year of marriage to see if their baby-daddy is an Alkie or not.

So what do you suppose it was that attracted Kris to Jessica in the first place? What made him want to say, "Hey baby, wanna be Mrs. Claus?"

The babe's got big innocent eyes, and I'm sure Kringle digs that. After all, he likes people who are true and kind, and he did come from that kind of background himself. Then there's Jessica's hips. Every man loves a woman with nice hips. And let's not forget the fact that she's a stop-go-animation puppet. So she could be put in any position Santa desires.  Some nights Santa wants to be on top and make sweet love.  Some nights, he wants to put Mrs. Claus on the naughty list.  Don't act so surprised. 

So, uh, anyway, here's to Miss Jessica (eventually Mrs. Claus), the one true babe of Christmas! 

no funny comment here.  just thinking how great of a life jolly ol' saint nick must have.