5 Kids Shows That Make It Safe For Us Adults To Turn the TV On Again

... television isn't going anywhere.  Unless you think in terms of having televised billboards, TV screens in your car, or the ability to watch re-runs of Perfect Strangers on your smart phone, in which case it's going everywhere.  More than ever, our children are being raised by the third parent in the household who goes by the name of TV.

Now I'm not going to sit here and rant about whether TV is good or bad for our kids.  My daughter watches TV, yes, but she also loves reading books, doing jigsaw puzzles, and having tea parties.

I will, however, make the bold statement that if your kid is watching TV regularly, then it's finally getting safe again for you to tune in with them and not want to blow your brains out.

Gil and Molly are probably going to sing any second now.

Children's television in it's earlier stages gave us great shows such as Captain Kangaroo, Howdy Doody, and the grand-daddy of them all, Sesame Street.  All of which were quality programming that could be appreciated by parents while the kids watched.  But then in the early 90s, some ignorant asshole created Barney and essentially gave a big middle finger to parents everywhere.

Admit it - somewhere in the back of your subconscious are the lyrics to the "I love you, you love me" song.

Barney f-ed up kids shows for a long time, and paved the way for the Teletubbies too.  Those two examples made parents so jaded that when any new kids-show debuted, the parents would automatically block them out.   Sure, there were some shining moments kicking around (Blues Clues, Thomas & Friends) but the majority of shows just annoyed the adults and hypnotized the kids.

So here are five shows you can watch with your little genetic offspring.  And you can feel safe to enjoy them too:

1. Bubble Guppies
Just try not to sing along with this little group of pre-school fish-people.  Some of their songs are good enough to be on the radio.  Seriously, YouTube "Bubble Guppies Restaurant song" and you'll be hooked.  This show follows a formula, is witty, clever, and very bright.  My daughter has seen each episode over and over and we don't get tired of it.

2. Jake & The Neverland Pirates
Leave it to Disney to find a way to make Captain Hook interesting again after all these years. The kids get to help the heroes solve "pirate problems" and collect gold coins. 

3. Octonauts

Kwazii is that awesome dude on the right.

Imagine Indiana Jones but under water.  Then throw in some awesome British accents.  Then make one of the characters kind of a bad-ass cat with a swell mustache and name him "Kwazii".  Yeah, that's right - KWAZII.  If I have another child, I'm naming it Kwazii.  I don't care what my wife says.

4. Max and Ruby
This is a show about two bunnies... brother and sister... who seem to live all by themselves.  While my daughter is glued to this show, I use MY imagination and wonder where the parents are.

5. Toopy and Binoo
This one might be up for debate... you see, the first few times I saw Toopy and Binoo, my jaw dropped and I managed to mumble, "What the fuck is this..."
Toopy is a boy who likes to wear lipstick, dress up like a beautiful princess, and thinks he's all around fabulous.  It took me a while to get into this show, but it's really a lot smarter than what's just on the surface.  It actually deals with the human ego, how we see ourselves, and how we think others see us.  It's actually kinda brilliant.

And there you go.  You can sit and enjoy TV with your child again. 
Wait... what?  You don't have kids?  Oh.
Well, you might enjoy these shows for yourself?