Working Out With Miss Piggy

I was at a vinyl record sale recently, and among the small pile of discs I picked up was this random album. Miss Piggy's Aerobique Exercise Workout Album only cost me $2, so even if the music sucked then I got my money's worth out of the cover. This record came out in 1982 during the heyday of exercise albums. We all remember Olivia Newton-John's album, Physical. To the best of my knowledge, Physical is the only record to have every song made into a music video. If I'm wrong, just say so.

But Miss Piggy's Aerobique isn't like the other exercise albums of the time. It's pretty apparent from the imagery on the cover. The photo actually wraps around to the back of the jacket to show champagne and chocolates. Like everything else Miss Piggy does, she has made this exercise album her very own.

Here is a direct quote from the liner notes: 

"Many people come up to moi, out of le bleu, to inquire how moi manages to remain so slimme and trimme in spite of moi's busy, demanding life as an international superstar. How is it, they wondeur, that I can possess such a fabulous physique, what with all the lavish brunches in ritzi hotels with moi's frog, the formal banquettes at embassies of the better nations, the glamorous garden parties with those teensy sandwiches with the crusts cut off, the pre-snooze snaques from room service with all the little dishes covered with hubcaps... Surely, they insist moi must have a secret." 

And those incredible liner notes are just the icing on the cake.

The music, as I'm sure you've already imagined never hit #1 on the Billboard Top 40, is light and fun. The first song, "Stereau Warmup" gets your hi-fi stereo system ready for such an album... keeping in mind this is 1982 and Glen Gulia hasn't even brought home a fancy new CD Player for Julia to try and play records on.

The second song, "Snackcercise", teaches you all about The Double Dip, the Jelly Rolls, and the Banana Split. These moves help you stay in shape while you eat the food you love. Even Kermit the Frog shows up for a little bit of a duet with Miss Piggy on, "Lift The One You Love". When Miss Piggy asks Kermit to lift her with his love he has to hesitate.

Piggy actually touches on "Propeur Nutrition" with 10 great points. My favorite was,

"Do not starve yourself. Your body needs food, and if you don't give it enough, it is just going to get up in the middle of the night when you aren't looking and go get some." 

Aerobique really isn't so much about the music though, as it is about the movement. This really is a great package to have in any record collection. The liner notes fold open to a poster of a sexy looking Miss Piggy with telephones and legwarmers. I felt that I couldn't fully explain this record without letting you read about the different moves in Miss Piggy's workout regimen. Click the picture below for a larger version.

In closing, I'd like to say that over the years I've bought a lot of shitty records simply because they had a funny looking album cover. But this is the first one that has really impressed me. I definitely got my two dollars worth. Maybe I'll get a bunch of Ryan-Fans together for a group workout session with this album.

Thanks for reading!
- ryan