He-Man & She-Ra - Hot Incest Love?

On the planet Eternia, twins were born to the royal parents King Randor and Queen Marlena. Before the tots were old enough to stop sucking on Marlena's boobs and start eating mushed up peas they were separated. Princess Adora, the girl of the two, was kidnapped by the evil Hordak. He stole her and ran away to the planet Etheria, much like Michael Jackson would run away with a small child to Neverland. Except, of course, that Michael Jackson would've kidnapped Prince Adam.

Years passed, and we all know that when Prince Adam raises his mighty sword and says, "By The Power of Grayskull..." he becomes He-Man, the most powerful man in the universe. But for years, He-Man's twin sister was kept a secret from all of us. Then one day He-Man went on an adventurous quest to the planet Etheria and found his sister.

And she was a stone cold fox.

If you've never seen The Secret of The Sword (He-Man & She-Ra's feature film), I totally recommend it. It's basically an hour-and-a-half long episode of He-Man that reuses the same animation at least sixty times and has lots of background theme music that won't leave your head for weeks. He-Man (who doesn't actually know he has a sibling) is taken capture by Adora, who is working for the Evil Horde under the command of Hordak himself.

She chains up He-Man, who doesn't seem to mind the notion of being tied up by a leggy blonde all that much. He-Man pleads with Adora that she should stop being an evil bitch and start working for the good guys 'cause they kick ass. Well, except for that one guy Beau who is a big sissy.

After Adora has a bad dream, she discovers a sword just like He-Man's, and when she holds aloft her magic sword and says "For the honor of Grayskull...", then BAMMO! (Insert catchy music with a sing-a-long She-Ra, She-Ra)

This is where things get tricky. He-Man and She-Ra learn that they are in fact twins, but you can tell that He-Man still wouldn't mind sticking it in her. One of the first things they do as brother and sister is hug. Really close-like. Then they ride She-Ra's magical horse to save some dumb chick who couldn't help but get held captive so she could wait for a hero. He-Man insists on riding behind She-Ra on the horse, and while she probably feels some wiener rubbing at the back, the most powerful man in the universe is in perfect position to reach around and grab some animated Filmation boob.

Then there's more hugging. Seriously, these two hug almost as much as Danny Tanner. I don't know what things are like on Eternia and Etheria, but the only place I can think of on Earth that has as much brotherly-sisterly love is Napanee, Ontario. If you live in that town, chances are your nephew is your brother, who is also your cousin, who is also your grandma, who is Avril Lavigne.

After He-Man and She-Ra defeat Hordak, the movie ends and He-Man vows to make regular appearances on She-Ra's new show to help her sell more toys. And he does. About once every five episodes or so He-Man visits Etheria because he secretly is checking up on his sister to make sure she's not hooking up with that pansy-ass Beau. Here's a hint He-Man: Beau is clearly into dudes and is no threat to your incestuous rampage.

But is He-Man really interested in making the love to his own sister? Does he have urges to walk in on her getting out of the shower and using the "oops, didn't know anyone was here" excuse? There is no formal proof to suggest that the two have ever had 'sexual intercourse', let alone some simple spit-swapping. It's not like they have a little hero running around by the name of Kid-Child. I honestly don't think He-Man wants to shag his twin.

The reason?
He-Man is a huge Man-Whore!   

He-Man couldn't possibly have time to hook it up with his sister. Clearly he spends one-half hour of every day saving Eternia, and fifteen minutes of every day making a guest appearance to help save Etheria. When he's not being a super-hero, he's scoring with all kinds of ladies.

I've seen pictures of him flirting it up with Queen Bee, getting a kiss from Frosta, and carrying Teela off to the sunset. Even the most powerful man in the universe needs a break from pleasing the ladies.

But alas, He-Man has one true love. And that true love goes by the name of Skeletor. C'mon, he never once arrested the dude after trying to take over Eternia and Caslte Grayskull. He-Man lets Skeletor run loose to try again, and again, and again. That's because He-Man is in to the chase, and could never possibly commit himself to any one Princess of Power, or Master of the Universe.

Thanks for reading!
- ryan