Grandfathered Cancelled?

Grandfathered has been cancelled?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

But I need my weekly dose of Stamos!

The 2015 TV Fall lineup featured four new shows that I immediately fell in love with... Supergirl, Superstore, The Muppets, and Grandfathered.  

The fate of Supergirl has been up in the air, with rumours of it being moved from CBS to the CW Network or possibly just not being renewed at all.  ABC decided to not go any further with The Muppets.  I've been waiting patiently for a new episode of Superstore and have no idea if I'll ever see one again.  And then just the other day, I saw on Twitter and Instagram (because I follow John Stamos religiously) that Fox has decided not to renew Grandfathered.

Maybe I'm old.  Maybe I just don't get it.  Maybe I'm longing for TV shows that make me feel the way I did when I was younger and I'd watch sitcoms like The Cosby Show, Full House, Home Improvement, and Perfect Strangers.  You know, shows that don't take themselves so seriously but provide a fun 22-minute escape from the reality of things.

I really enjoyed Grandfathered.  It was one of my most looked forward to nights of the week.  The fact that it was paired with New Girl on Tuesdays was even better, and almost felt like the old one-two combo of Full House/Home Improvement on ABC's Tuesday night.

I know that Grandfathered hit a certain nostalgic note with me in the same way that Fuller House did.  Stamos may be a god, but his acting range isn't omnipresent.  Seeing Stamos on Grandfathered felt more like seeing Uncle Jesse today than Fuller House did.  Imagine if you will Uncle Jesse having left Becky, the Twins, the Rippers, and the Tanners behind to run a restaurant and make a new life.  It's quite likely that in Uncle Jesse's younger years that he may have knocked up a pretty girl and felt no consequence for it.  That would bring us to Grandfathered.  And what a wonderful show it was. 

Fuller House was great, but the problem with the Netflix format is that it's over too quick.  I wasn't longing for the next episode or getting excited for when the next instalment would happen.  I found myself getting excited to see a new episode of Grandfathered was airing. It was just really good family entertainment.

I hope that Stamos manages to find a new home for it somewhere, because I'm not the only one who wants to find out what happens to Jimmy, Sarah, Gerald, Edie, and Vanessa.

Thanks for reading!

-ryan

Working Out With Miss Piggy

I was at a vinyl record sale recently, and among the small pile of discs I picked up was this random album. Miss Piggy's Aerobique Exercise Workout Album only cost me $2, so even if the music sucked then I got my money's worth out of the cover. This record came out in 1982 during the heyday of exercise albums. We all remember Olivia Newton-John's album, Physical. To the best of my knowledge, Physical is the only record to have every song made into a music video. If I'm wrong, just say so.

But Miss Piggy's Aerobique isn't like the other exercise albums of the time. It's pretty apparent from the imagery on the cover. The photo actually wraps around to the back of the jacket to show champagne and chocolates. Like everything else Miss Piggy does, she has made this exercise album her very own.

Here is a direct quote from the liner notes: 

"Many people come up to moi, out of le bleu, to inquire how moi manages to remain so slimme and trimme in spite of moi's busy, demanding life as an international superstar. How is it, they wondeur, that I can possess such a fabulous physique, what with all the lavish brunches in ritzi hotels with moi's frog, the formal banquettes at embassies of the better nations, the glamorous garden parties with those teensy sandwiches with the crusts cut off, the pre-snooze snaques from room service with all the little dishes covered with hubcaps... Surely, they insist moi must have a secret." 

And those incredible liner notes are just the icing on the cake.

The music, as I'm sure you've already imagined never hit #1 on the Billboard Top 40, is light and fun. The first song, "Stereau Warmup" gets your hi-fi stereo system ready for such an album... keeping in mind this is 1982 and Glen Gulia hasn't even brought home a fancy new CD Player for Julia to try and play records on.

The second song, "Snackcercise", teaches you all about The Double Dip, the Jelly Rolls, and the Banana Split. These moves help you stay in shape while you eat the food you love. Even Kermit the Frog shows up for a little bit of a duet with Miss Piggy on, "Lift The One You Love". When Miss Piggy asks Kermit to lift her with his love he has to hesitate.

Piggy actually touches on "Propeur Nutrition" with 10 great points. My favorite was,

"Do not starve yourself. Your body needs food, and if you don't give it enough, it is just going to get up in the middle of the night when you aren't looking and go get some." 

Aerobique really isn't so much about the music though, as it is about the movement. This really is a great package to have in any record collection. The liner notes fold open to a poster of a sexy looking Miss Piggy with telephones and legwarmers. I felt that I couldn't fully explain this record without letting you read about the different moves in Miss Piggy's workout regimen. Click the picture below for a larger version.

In closing, I'd like to say that over the years I've bought a lot of shitty records simply because they had a funny looking album cover. But this is the first one that has really impressed me. I definitely got my two dollars worth. Maybe I'll get a bunch of Ryan-Fans together for a group workout session with this album.

Thanks for reading!
- ryan

The Best of 2015!

Once again it's time to look back on what happened in a calendar year.  I do this every year, and it's important to remember that this is all my opinion.  My best isn't necessarily your best, or your mama's best, or your drug dealer's best. 

Entertainment wise, 2015 was a pretty decent year.  Here's what I liked best about it.

The Best Movies of 2015
1. Creed
Let's get one thing straight - I was fully ready to make The Force Awakens the #1 movie of the year from the time I saw the first trailer.  Then something happened.  A new Rocky movie came out.  While a new Star Wars flick is the one that made me most excited, it was Creed that had me leaving the theater fully blown away.  Props to Trainwreck for being hysterical and giving John Cena something interesting to do (I don't mean being naked).  And Cinderella was a surprising amount of fun too.
2. The Force Awakens
3. Terminator: Genysis
4. Trainwreck
5. Cinderella

The Best Music of 2015
1. Prince: Hit N' Run Phase One
I didn't buy a whole lot of new music this year, but what I did drop money on I really liked.  Prince put out two new albums this year, with the first one being incredible and the second being just okay.  Buckcherry is no stranger to this yearly list either.  Hollywood Vampires is a classic rocking album that everyone should take a listen to (Alice Cooper + Joe Perry + Johnny Depp = awesome).  A new Bon Jovi record came out with very little attention.  It's good, but is definitely missing Ritchie Sambora.
2. Buckcherry: Rock N' Roll
3. Hollywood Vampires
4. Bon Jovi : Burning Bridges
5. Steven Tyler - Love Is Your Name

The Best TV of 2015
1. The Muppets
This fall was also the most excited I've been for new TV in a long time.  The Muppets is just perfect, Supergirl keeps getting better, and Ash VS Evil Dead reminds us what we loved about Sam Raimi's flicks in the first place.  There's actually more TV I've wanted to catch up on but haven't had the time to, because there's just so much good on right now.  Hell, I could even add in some of the shows my kids watch because those are darn good too.
2. Supergirl
3. Ash Vs Evil Dead
4. Flash
5. WWE Raw

The Best Babes of 2015
1. Melissa Benoist (Supergirl)
I keep using the word "Adorkable" for this new Supergirl.  I forget where I stole the phrase from but I'm going to keep using it.  Seriously, watch that show.  You'll fall in love with her.  Paige continues to be the main reason I tune in to WWE Raw on Monday nights.  And Dillion Harper is... well, I'm sure you can figure that out.  If not, there's such a thing as Google.  Taylor Swift continues to leave messages on my phone, and Daisy Ridley has become everyone's new favorite Jedi. 
2. Paige (WWE Diva)
3. Dillion Harper (Moms Bang Teens #11)
4. Taylor Swift
5. Daisy Ridley (The Force Awakens)

So that's what I thought of 2015.
What did you like best?

- ryan

The Best of 2014

The year is almost over, and thus it is time once again for my picks as the best of the last twelve months.  I think it's important to note that anybody's "top" list is always just an opinion of personal taste, so if you don't agree with my selections that's just too bad.

Here we go!

Mahhhkey Mahhhhhk!

Movies
I'd say that 2014 was a darn good year for movies.  Sure there was some awful shit from Michael Bay, but we're all accustomed to just avoiding those flicks by now.  As usual, my picks aren't going to win the Oscar for Best Picture, but they certainly entertained me.
1. Dawn of The Planet of The Apes
2. Muppets Most Wanted
3. Sin City: A Dame To Kill For
4. The Expendables 3
5. The Lego Movie
*special honorable mention to Personal Space Invader


Songs

I never liked Bruno Mars until this.

2014 will go down as the greatest year of shitty pop music.  There was so much typical garbage on the radio that I just couldn't avoid, and also didn't want to.  Hell, I even caught myself singing along to "Let It Go" with my daughter.
1. Uptown Funk - Mark Ronson
2. Say Fuck It - Buckcherry
3. You Really Got A Hold On Me - Smokey Robinson & Steven Tyler
4. Breakfast Can Wait - Prince
5. Word Crimes - "Weird Al" Yankovic

Puddin'

Comics (I refuse to call these things "graphic novels") 
DC Comics leads the way in 2014, with Harley Quinn by Jimmy Palmiotti and Amanda Conner.  Seriously, it's the most consistent fun in comics right now, and it even warranted a whole blog from me about it. 
1. Harley Quinn (inc. all the specials and annuals)
2. He-Man & The Masters of The Universe
3. Alice Cooper
4. Aw Yeah Comics
5. Adventures of Superman

Brucio.

Books (yeah, I read more than just comics...)
This was the hardest list for me to compile because, while I do read a lot of books - mostly autobiographies - it's pretty rare that I buy them when they're brand new releases.  I usually wait for them to go on clearance price or show up in the second hand shops for $4.  With that said, there were a few books I couldn't wait to read this year.
1.Let's Start A Riot - Bruce McCulloch
2. Dirty Daddy - Bob Saget
3. Rocks - Joe Perry
4. Jim Henson; The Biography - Brian Jay Jones
5. Frozen: Olaf's "A Day In The Sun" sticker book

Mmmmmmmmmmm

Babes
Well, it looks as though I've finally taken Miss Lexi Belle off the top of my babes list.  Really though, it's probably because I don't want you - my loyal fans - to think that I'm a hyper-perv.  Okay, we all know Lexi will always be #1 in my heart of babes, but let's let Paige have her turn on top for a while.
1. Paige (WWF Diva)
2. Lexi Belle
3. Taylor Swift
4. Jessica Alba
5. Molly Quinn

Nick Miller is the man.

TV Shows
I think it's important to note that I didn't actually start getting into New Girl until this past summer.  It's that darn good.
1. New Girl
2. Gotham
3. Tosh.0
4. The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon
5. Storage Wars

- ryan of the ryan fan club

Top 11 Times Cartoons Got Very Real

Cartoons have always been a great form of escapism.  We can see robots that turn into vehicles.  Animals that talk.  And, of course, Hammerman.  But during the course of our childhoods there were a few times that our favorite animated adventures got a little too real.

Very real, and many of you may not have realized the real message that was being sent to you at the time.  So check this out:

Partnership for a Drug Free America!

11. Super Mario Meets Milli Vanilli
I keep this first example a little light, but really, if you were Mario (or even his brother, Green Mario) and you arrived on Earth and then met Milli Vanilli, you'd be depressed enough to need some serious counseling.
What the cartoon was telling us: Milli Vanilli are phonies. 

10. Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue
Imagine all of your favorite cartoon characters coming together in one very special episode.  Turtles, Bugs Bunny, Alf, Chipmunks, Winnie The Mother Fucking Pooh.  And then they all need to stop a boy - a boy not unlike YOU maybe - from his ADDICTION TO ILLEGAL NARCOTICS.  Yes sir, in an attempt to teach us about the dangers of drugs, the powers that be actually made them more appealing.
What the cartoon was telling us: Just say not to drugs? 

9. When The Chipettes Let "Uncle" Harry Take Photos Of Them
If you remember this one, then you're about to be blown away.  The Chipmunks had previously thwarted the evil money schemes of their "Uncle" Harry a few times, so he came back to try and snake some money out of the Chipettes - this included him taking modelling photos of them at his roach motel of an apartment.  David Seville should have called child services.
What the cartoon was telling us: Everyone has that one "uncle" that they aren't allowed to go for long walks in the wilderness with. 

8. Jon Arbuckle Wants To Pay With Cash
In my personal favorite Garfield cartoon, Jon Arbuckle is doing some shopping and wants to pay with cash.  The retailer questions him, "What is this CASH you keep referring to," and insists that Jon use a credit card to pay.  They simply won't take his money.
What the cartoon was telling us: The world will change around us and we'd better be prepared.  And if you're Jon Arbuckle, nobody wants your money.  Or your love.

7. Mad Love
Everyone loved Batman: The Animated Series.  It's still heralded as one of the greatest achievements in animation history.  Remember the episode Mad Love?  Go watch it again.  It's all about abusing the ones you love to further your own personal affairs.
What the cartoon was telling us: If you're a lovely person, and maybe pure and innocent at heart and just a little jaded and misunderstood, who is in love with an abusive (mentally and physically) psychopath then you have no choice but to continue loving them... even if you think they might be dead.

"C'mon puddin', don'tcha wanna rev up your Harley?"

 6. The Looney Tunes Got Juiced Up In Space Jam
Halfway through the epic outer space battle (jam?) between the Monstars and the Looney Tunes, the good guys all decide that whatever "secret" juice Michael Jordan is drinking must be what they need too in order to be successful basketball players.  Sure, it's just water in a bottle marked for Jordan, but they buy right into it.
What the cartoon was telling us: Your skills and hard work do not matter.  To be successful you need either drugs, magic, or Michael Jordan. 

5. Donald, Huey, Duey, and Louie Eat a Turkey
In pretty much any holiday themed classic Disney cartoon you'll see Uncle Donald sit down to turkey dinner with his duckling nephews.  I might as well just go an eat my neighbor for fun.
What the cartoon was telling us: Cannibalism isn't just for emergencies anymore kiddo. 

4. Murder Is Always Better At Christmastime 
In the Smurf's Christmas Special, a new bad guy named The Stranger kidnaps a bunch of kids.  Well, you wouldn't adultnap a bunch of kids.  Anyway, this Stranger guy gets chased down by The Smurfs AND Gargamel and they combine their efforts to stop the Stranger by engulfing him in a circle of fire, and when the flames go out he's as dead as your Christmas Turkey.
What the cartoon was telling us: This holiday season, just stay in with your family for a change.

3. Teela's Origin 
Teela, daughter of Man-At-Arms and Captain of the Royal Guard, goes on a quest to find out who her long lost mother truly is.  She has to fight monsters and get help from He-Man, but she mostly does the grunt work herself, and learns that the Sorceress of Greyskull is her real mommy.  Awwww.
What the cartoon was telling us: If you uncover a great truth about yourself or your life, your mom will simply take that memory away from you to better suit her own needs.  Oh, and your weekly allowance has just been cut back too.

Ooooh, kissin' cousins!

2. The Care Bear Pandas
In the only episode of the original Care Bears show that ever featured them, we met Perfect and Polite - two Care Bears who were pandas and had been missing for just about ever.  Well, long enough to support the plot device of that episode anyway.  The Care Bears give the pandas their own tummy symbols, and they have a hard time controlling them.  Eventually, and much like every single date Joey Gladstone ever had on Full House, we say "see you soon" to the pandas at the end of the episode and they disappear, never to be seen again.
What the cartoon was telling us: It's not okay if you don't fit in.  You need to be just like everyone else to be successful in life. Conform.  Conform!  CONFORM!

1. The Death of Optimus Prime
We've all seen it.  Optimus Prime dies and passes on the Autobot Matrix of Leadership to that pansy Ultra Magnus.  If I talk too much about it, I'll tear up and cry like a baby, so I'll ask this instead: why did the Decepticons want the AUTOBOT Matrix of Leadership so bad?  Didn't they have their own Decepticon one?
What the cartoon was telling us: Your mother and your father are going to die someday, junior.  Learn to deal with it.

And that's all!  I hope I've only slightly ruined your childhood today.  Probably not as much as Milli Vanilli did though.

- ryan

"No kids, Daddy isn't coming home tonight.  Or tomorrow.  Or ever again."

Top 11 Star Wars Spoofs

May the farce be with you?
I ain't gonna waste a lot of time with introductions on this one.  You know why you're here.  So, here they come!

Family Guy Trilogy

11. The Family Guy Trilogy
I'm not gonna say much about this one because it already gets a lot of publicity.  I personally don't enjoy the Family Guy TV show, but their Star Wars specials are goddam funny.  I do hope they make spoofs of the prequel trilogy too.  There's a lot to work with there.

10. Troops
One of the earliest funny videos on the internet, Troops was a parody of both Star Wars and COPS at the same time.  Fucking brilliant.


9. Thumb Wars
A re-imagining of A New Hope with thumbs for characters.  It was pretty darn clever at the time, but then they did a dozen other thumb flicks that weren't so good.

8. The Star Wars Holiday Special
You've heard about this one... it really does exist... I have a copy... it killed my old DVD player... and it was made by Lucasfilm.  I've included the Holiday Special on this list because George Lucas pretends like it doesn't exist, so it's almost like he allowed himself to be spoofed by himself.

Star Wars XXX

7. Robot Chicken
Same style as Family Guy, but 4 times funnier.

6. Buzz Lightyear vs Zurg
Not the best moment of Toy Story 2 but probably one of the most memorable.  It was so predictable, but nobody seemed to see it coming... *spoiler*... Zurg is Buzz's father!

5. Hot Shots Part Deux
Somewhere in the last fifteen minutes of this Charlie Sheen flick the President of the USA has an epic lightsaber battle with Sadam Hussein... and they even directly quote Vader and Kenobi.

4. Pirates of the Caribbean
The first couple Pirates flicks are just clear rip-offs of Star Wars.  A princess needs saving... a shy pretty boy is up to the task... he falls in cahoots with a pirate that all the girls like... the pretty boy's dad is really alive and hangs out with the bad guys... the pirate's fate is in question at the end of the second movie... it's all there... just look for it.

3. Star Wars XXX: A Porn Parody
I'm not going to give away too much about this one, or how much I actually paid attention to it, but the acting IS better than anything in Episode 1... and the special effects weren't bad either.  And for the record, Han shoots first.

Muppet Babies

2. Spaceballs
Most consider it to be the ultimate Star Wars homage.  And to this day it's still all kinds of hilarious.  It was the first movie I ever taped off the movie network with my parent's VCR (kids, asks your parents what that was).  Rick Moranis gives his second-best performance ever in this movie (first being Ghostbusters), and the laughs just don't stop.

1. Muppet Babies
Remember that episode of Muppet Babies where they do Star Wars?  You should, because it was the greatest achievement in the history of western culture.
Goodnight!

The Best of 2011

Holy crap!  2011 is almost over!  That means you're going to be overwhelmed with everyone's opinions about the best and worst of the year. 

But we all know my opinion is the only one that matters. 

This year, I didn't put my choices for video games because I didn't start playing any new ones until just the other day.  NHL12 does kick ass though.  So here's the best of everything else I normally think about all day long.

2 Broke Girls

Best movies of 2011:
1. The Muppets
2. Just Go With It
3. Arthur
4. Green Lantern
5. Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows P.2

Best Music of 2011:
1. Alice Cooper - Welcome 2 My Nightmare
2. A Very She & Him Christmas
3. The Muppets Soundtrack
4. Steven Tyler - (It) Feels So Good [single]
5. The Trews - Hope & Ruin

Best TV of 2011:
1. 2 Broke Girls

Miss Lexi Belle

2. Storage Wars
3. Tosh.0
4. How I Met Your Mother
5. The Big Bang Theory

Best Babes of 2011:
1. Lexi Belle
2. Taylor Swift
3. Penny from the Big Bang Theory
4. Brandi from Storage Wars
5. Katy Perry

The New Retro Muppets

We're now only three days away from the most sensational, inspirational, muppetational film of the year - The Muppets

If you'd asked me to get excited about a new Muppet movie a few years back, I would've said, "No, thank you," and then put on my LP of the original Muppet Movie soundtrack.

Just why are there so many songs about rainbows anyway...?

The Muppets version of Wizard of OZ was an honest attempt, and that Letters To Santa DVD tried it's best too, but since the passing of Jim Henson in 1990 most Muppet adventures just didn't feel the same.

It wasn't until I'd heard that Jason Segel was involved with the new Muppet film that I got really excited.  His puppeteering in Forgetting Sarah Marshall was brilliant.  Actually, that entire flick was brilliant.  I just knew Segel could take what was so lovable about Kermit and gang in the first place and apply it to the year 2011.

In a world where most kids movies rely heavily on CGI, how could the Muppets possibly fit in?

Well, in watching re-runs of the classic Muppet Show on DVD, it becomes pretty clear the show was really for adults but done so with a child-like magic.

The Muppets have always been about charm.  And if the previews for the new Muppets movie shows us anything, they've found a way to charm us again.

I'm excited.  And you should be too.