Don't Wanna Kiss Your Thing

Back in Spring 1998, at the lustful age of seventeen, I was sitting in my Creative Arts class, working on a large drawing of all my Scourge characters. I had become absolutely obsessed with Aerosmith. It seemed like I couldn't have a conversation without bringing up one of their songs. Steven Tyler was my hero, and sometimes I'd refer to him as my "spiritual father".

We were listening to the radio in class when suddenly I could hear Tyler's signature voice. Could this be their new single from Nine Lives? I thought to myself. Nope, I'd listened to that album at least one hundred times and told my friend's Rebekah and Laura everything about the album at least two hundred times. I would've recognized a song sooner. I had all their albums, so the only logical explanation was that this song was something completely new.

I waited by the radio until I got the chance to hear it again and tape it off the radio.

I Don't Want To Miss A Thing is a beautiful song. The lyrics, the melody... I really thought Steven had outdone himself with this one. Then, as it gained more airplay, the CD became available. The Armageddon Soundtrack which had enough Aerosmith songs to pretty much be an Aerosmith album, was pretty solid as far as soundtracks go.

Pretty soon though, "IDWTMAT" started getting lots of backlash. But why? Aerosmith had done love songs before and they were huge hits. People loved Angel, Crazy, and the best of them all, What It Takes. Were people just sick and tired of the formulaic "Aerosmith Ballad"?

Then the news broke: Oh my God, this song wasn't written by the Tyler/Perry songwriting combo. No, the Toxic Twins had nothing to do with it. IDWTMAT was written by Dianne Warren. And she was best known for Celine Dion songs. Celine Fucking Dion.

Before you knew it, a country singer also recorded the song and people were saying things like "Did you hear Aerosmith's remake of that country song?" Suddenly people were referring to the band as sell-outs, calling them Aero Supply, and making it hard for anyone to be an Aerosmith fan. Even Steven Tyler himself has referred to the song as I Don't Want To Kiss Your Thing. Is this the song that made Aerosmith so jaded? Yes, that pun was intentional. You might even say that IDWTMAT was "Hey, Over-Play-ded". Okay, that wasn't quite as funny.

So where does the song stand all these years later? Some people really hate it. And I mean absolutely loathe it. But when you think of how many married couples had their first dance to this song, and how many children were probably conceived to this song, it kinda lightens it all up a bit. Call me a softy, but I don't really mind this song at all. Mind you, being the obsessed Aerosmith fan that I am, I do have a harder rock mix of it, and that's the one I tend to listen to.

It's also a different song when listened to from different perspectives.  Mostly these days when I hear this song it's because I'm singing it to my daughter as one of her lullabies.   Don't get me wrong, she loves "Dream On", and her favorite Aerosmith song is "Livin' On The Edge", but when it's lullaby time, she really wants to hear  that song from the movie about the asteroid.

I guess it all comes down to personal taste. I mean, there will always be crappy music that is popular while some real artists are over-looked. Even Aerosmith themselves are victims of it. While their popular songs like IDWTMAT, Crazy, Jaded, Cryin', and Pink flourished on the radio, some of their real gems of the same time period like Eat The Rich, Beyond Beautiful, Taste Of India, and Hangman Jury are barely recognizable to the public. I'm not going to pass down a judgement that is set in stone, but I will say if you like the song, good for you. If you don't, and you don't mind missing a thing, then that's no problem either.

Thanks for reading!
- ryan