Hi, My Name Is Ryan

Hi, My Name Is Ryan
written by Ryan Matthew Ewing
(from the album, Friggidy Ding-Dong)

Hi, my name is Ryan
Got one birthday on August thirteen
Wickedest hair like you never did seen
Everything I own is covered in pink
And when I eat garlic I surely do stink
I cheer for the Bruins - I cheer for the Sox
Twice in my life I had the chicken pox
The weirdest thing that ever came about
Was when my penis turned inside out

Watch Full House almost every night
Don't drink any beer that claims to be light
Regular subscriber to the Hanson website
Like my coffee to be blacker than night
Can't seem to beat Scott in Monopoly
Ashamed to admit I like Superman III
Never put the seat down when I'm done going wee
Yeah not by the hair on my go-go-goatee

Hi, My Name Is Ryan
Can beat Super Mario in twenty minutes flat
Up until sixteen was pretty darn fat
My best friend in the world is my cat
Paint my toenails black, now what you think about that?

Hi, My Name Is Ryan
Got a swell Fan Club you should join today
Had a crush on Stephanie no DJ
Born and raised in Canada eh
My eyes go from blue to green to grey
Play road hockey 'cause I never learned to skate
Once was seven but then I turned eight
Don't know what it's like to menstruate
Met my wife when she was still jailbait

Got weird eyebrows that go up and down
Once tried to pick up a birthday clown
Spend my summers chillin' downtown
Go to BK and wear the crown
Study Mr. T's "Be Somebody or Be Somebody's Fool"
You know that ain't me
Giving out buttons for the RFC
Put my face on your thong like 1-2-3

Dearly beloved
We are gathered here today
To eat Ryan's patented fried rice

Watched Rocky IV once three times in a row
Dressed up like a lady in a high school show
Can't walk ten feet without saying 'hello"
Jealous of Joey Lawrence's "Whoa"

Hi, My Name Is Ryan
Got a scar on my hand from a dogbite
Gonna look at girly mags until I lose my sight
If Rick Astley is wrong I don't wanna be right
And I'll sniff my Vick's all thru the night
Oh yeah man
Just cause a monkey's got a bloody nose
Doesn't mean the circus isn't in town
Hi, My name is...