Carrots and Peas

Written by Ryan Matthew Ewing

Carrots and peas, carrots and peas
A side of cold gravy
But no meat please
Butter n' cheese, butter n' cheese
An apple a day
And forget how to sneeze

It's rare that she eats meat
So rare, so rare
Not even a nibble on the edge of her teeth
She says, "It all tastes like feet
With hair, down there
And every dirty speckle that lays underneath!"

Carrots and peas, carrots and peas
I'm sure she's convinced
She'll get a disease!
Coffees and teas, coffees and teas
Without any protein
She surely will freeze

She's done well for her convictions
Well done, well done
Who'da thunk that tofu could taste so delish?
But she's leniant on her restrictions
How can you be
Vegetarian when you eat chicken and fish?

Carrots and peas, carrots and peas
Won't fuck her boyfriend
But hugs all the trees
Carrots and peas, carrots and peas
She'll soon fade away
Yet not soon enough please