Everyone Loves April O'Neil

Most of us know April O'Neil as that go-getter of a reporter for Channel 6 News. But do any of us really know the real Miss O'Neil? Sure, we've seen her eat pizza with our favorite mutated turtles but that doesn't mean we know what's really under that yellow jumpsuit. And I mean on the inside. Let's keep this relatively PG here folks.

April is much more than just a groupie to the Turtles, and she's much more than a rip off of Lois Lane. April O'Neil is a strong, independant woman of the late 80s. She's got her career jump-started, she's confident with her sexuality (whatever that is... after all, she DOES hang out with the Turtles all day...), and gosh darn it, we all seem to just love her in bunches.

I should also note that this blog is all just speculation on my part. So take it with a grain of salt.  Or a slice of pizza.


Before The Turtles?
Very little is known about O'Neil's backstory. But you might be surprised to learn that she wasn't born as a broadcast journalist. Nope, she was born as a baby like everyone else.  She had hopes and dreams like many other little girls from Connecticut. She was born April Othello Neillson, and was a shy little girl with an appetite for chocolate cake. At the age of twelve, April decided she wanted to become an actress on Broadway. For many years, she did local dinner theater until she was old enough to move away from home. She saved every penny from every paycheck she made at Uncle Bob's Fish N' Chips until she had just enough to make a stab at her dreams. New York City would become April's new home, and instantly she started auditioning for parts. It's often the case that family members are far too kind. Sure, April was a beautiful woman but she couldn't act or sing... and nobody told her that. The only part she could land was that of a talking banana in a children's show. Ashamed, she did only a handful of shows. But she didn't know that would change her life.
 
The Yellow Jumpsuit
Following April's third appearance as "Banana Queen", she had a heated argument with her manager backstage. After a temper tantrum, she walked out and quit the production. Knowing she'd be needing money, she stole some video equipment on her way out the door. April was apparently so fired up that she left without realizing she still had her costume on!

Then, without warning, came her big break. Members of the Foot Clan were terrorizing New York and some of them grabbed her hostage, which would become normal for her later on. When she was rescued by the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, she used the camera she stole to get the whole thing on video. Within an hour she had sold the footage to Channel Six for enough money to buy her condo. April wasn't dumb though. She also negotiated for a job on the news team.

The rest, as they always say, is history.

And that was just the beginning... 

Lost In Love
April sure must give off a lot of wrong signals when it comes to men. For starters, she spends most of her time with the four Turtles and Splinter in the sewer. April is a hottie. She shouldn't be in a sewer. Also, she's always getting kidnapped by bad guys. Usually, the idiotic Bebop and Rocksteady tie her up to something and she escapes before Shredder gets home from the gym. The only man in her life, and by "man" I mean human, is Vern from the Channel Six station. Even though he's a big coward, I kinda wanna see him get with April cause he's always wearing a pink shirt.

No, there aren't many men in April's life... but there is Irma! Would you say it's safe to put forth an argument that April and Irma are having a discreet all-woman love affair? That might be almost as safe as sliding into home plate.
 

April Plays Favorites
April O'Neil may be close with all four of the Turtles, but she definitely has a soft spot for Donatello. You see, according to the theme song, "Donatello does machines". He's quite the handy turtle. Whenever April has a problem with her dishwasher or her coffee maker she calls up ol' Donnie to fix it. Donatello doesn't really mind. He holds April in high regard. And he usually gets some free pizza out of the deal. If you ask Raphael though, he thinks that April relies on Donatello far too much. Most of the time these little gadget problems could be solved by checking to see if the cord was plugged into the wall or not. But April and Donatello have shared some great moments just the two of them. She really likes to give him pedicures. Donatello doesn't tell his brothers about this though, they already think he's kind of gay. This would put it over the edge.

Donatello's sexual preference is definitely a story for another day. I really hope you've had fun exploring the lesser-known parts of April O'Neil. She really is everyone's favorite newscaster.

Thanks for reading!
- ryan