Tanner Claus Is Coming To Town?

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the place
Ozma, my cat, was giving a chase;
The stockings were hung by the gawdy green tree
In hopes that we'd be visited by Uncle Jesse;
The bottle of white wine was nearly all done,
While visions of "Full House" played in re-run;
And Dana in her jammies, and I my pink shoes
Had just realized we were all out of booze,
When out of nowhere there arose such a noise
I then thought the cat had knocked over my toys
When, what to my wondering eyes should be seen
But Danny Tanner, whose jokes were not clean
With a friend saying "Cut it out" on the phone
I knew in a moment it was Joey Gladstone.
The Tanner family had finally came,
And they hugged and laughed and called out their names;
"Now DJ! Now Steve! Now Michelle and Stephanie!
On Comet! Kimmy Gibbler! On Alex and Nicky!"
And then, in a twinkling, I heard before long
The dancing and remaking of a hit Beach Boys song.
Knocked over the bottle as I turned around,
Thru the chimney Uncle Jesse came to rock down.
He was dressed all in leather from his head to his hand
And his sideburns attached to a mullet so grand;
An electric guitar he flung on his back,
A gift from the Rippers about five years back.
He had awesome hair from all of the mousse
That stayed in place and never came loose
A wink of his eye and a point to his head,
Warning not to touch the hair or I'd end up dead;
He plugged in his guitar and ever so clever
He sang a Christmas version of his big hit, "Forever".
He then waved good-bye, a disappointing rub
But Uncle Jesse had a gig that night at the Smash Club.
And I heard him exclaim, as he rocked out of sight,
"Merry Christmas to all! Have Mercy! Good-night!"