Today we're looking at the eleven greatest captains who ever captained anything. So let's get happening!
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| #4 |
This dude is the leader of the Avengers, and even though he had a really (enjoyably) shitty movie back in the 80s, he returned to the big screen last year and will be captaining the Avengers to the big screen this summer.
10. Captain Kirk
I'm not such a fan of Star Trek, but anybody who allegedly fucked a green chick is pretty cool in my books.
9. Captain Morgan
If you want to be the captain of a great party, just bring along this captain. Remember folks, having alcohol means people (especially pretty, naive girls) will like you more.
8. Captain Caveman
If you've never seen the Captain Caveman & Son cartoon - it's a must. You'll be shouting his name for weeks afterwards.
7. Captain Jack Sparrow
This guy captained many catchphrases for the early part of the 2000s. If it wasn't for him, none of us would've ever said "savvy" without feeling like a complete tool.
6. Captain Hook
Ol' Hookie here used to be a real ladies man - he's got the moustache, the sword skills, and a pretty swell feather in his hat. But... it just so happens the ladies get a squeamish when they see a dude's fingers have been replaced with an iron hook. When Captain Hook asks a lady out to dinner they seem to always have to wash their hair...
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| #3 |
SHAZAM! 'Nuff said.
4. Captain Carrot
This leader of The Amazing Zoo Crew made such an impact on his first appearance that he actually had to save Superman from certain doom.
3. Captain Cackton
The driver of the GEO. The greatest pool playing nemesis in the world. A man who refuses to have any condiments on his chicken burger. A guitar wielding, Dominos Pizza eating, PS2 hockey playing brother from another mother!
2. Captain Planet
Not only is he our hero. Not only is he going to bring pollution down to zero. But this mother fucker has a green mullet! Suck on that pollution faces!
1. Cap'n Crunch
Hey may not be the greatest leader of them all, but every other captain on this list surely has a bowl of Cap'n Crunch before a long day of being in charge. And that makes him the captain of all captains.
Still, as great as all these captains are... they're only captains. They can go right ahead and Kneel Before General Zod any day now.
- Ryan
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