The Bone Tribute Edition

Bone (by Jeff Smith) has, for a long time now, been my very favorite comic.  The first time I read an issue of Bone was in the year 2000.  I found a few reprints of the first six issues at a flea market for a buck a piece.  It was something I had read about in Wizard Magazine (remember that?) and knew I wanted to read it, but the original issues were fetching a pretty penny.  I've always been more interested in reading comics than turning a profit on them, so getting reprints cheap was no big deal for me.

I fell in love with the storytelling of Bone right after the very first issue.  I was hooked on the charm and humor as soon as the snow fell on the valley, suprizing little lost Fone Bone with that long winter.

Maybe you don't know what I'm talking about with those details, and that's okay, because Scholastic has just released a new Tribute Edition in hardcover of the first Bone story arc, Out From Boneville.  If you've never read Bone, and you're a fan of comics then you should check it out.  These days, it can easily be found in the children's section, but but that's only because it's kid-friendly.  The Bone saga was never really intended to be for kids, it just so happens that it crossed over to public schools really easily.

If you have read Bone before, then why is the Tribute edition for you?  Maybe it's the new poem, "Ode to a Quiche" by the Stupid, Stupid, Rat Creatures.  Maybe it's the gallery of Bone artwork from other great artists to accompany the story.

Or maybe, you're like me and never bought the colorized Scholastic paperbacks of Bone because you've got the classic, black and white, 1300-page, one-volume edition that recounts the entire saga.  I used to shy away from the Scholastic paperbacks because of the coloring.  To me, Bone was best enjoyed in it's purest form.

My sketch of Fone Bone, to contribute to the tribute.

But when I saw this Tribute Edition was coming out, I just had to have it... but, why?  I know the story.  I must have read those first few reprints a good fifty times.  For me, this new Tribute Edition is a new chance to enjoy Bone for the first time again - this time with my daughter Ryleigh. And she loves it too.  Reading it with her is so much fun, because she gets right into it - she's even a little scared of the Stupid, Stupid, Rat Creatures and their leader Kingdok.

Re-reading it with Ryleigh almost zaps me back to the first time I read Bone, and felt that wonder and amazement that Jeff Smith has created on the page.  I've never met Mr. Smith (though he recently re-tweeted one of my tweets and I felt like a schoolgirl) but if I do I'll shake his hand and thank him for giving my family one of the most enjoyable stories I've ever come across.

- ryan of the ryan fan club

Fone Bone's affections for Thorn will have you reminiscing about your first childhood crush.

The Dastardly Villainy of My Youth

me, around 1988 or so.

When I was just a Lil' Ryan, I had a friend named Dale.  Growing up, he was a lot of fun and one of my best friends during grade school.  Dale was an interesting kid.  My mom thought he was weird, as did many of the other moms I'm sure.

We used to ride our bikes all over the neighborhood, play Super Mario Bros., and draw comics together.  Dale was a lot of fun because he was fucking crazy.

Dale was great at getting me in trouble too.  It's not like we committed first degree murder or anything, but stupid shit that kids get in trouble for.

There was a girl who lived down the street from me.  I think her name was Amanda, but honestly, it was over twenty-five years ago and that detail totally escapes me.  For sake of argument, we'll call her AmandaGlasses.  We didn't like her because she had nerdy glasses.

You can start typing all the hate mail you want.  I was, like, six years old and this was the mid-80s when it was quite common for kids with glasses to be made fun of.  And if you were a girl with glasses you got it worse than anyone else.

Dale and I just didn't like AmandaGlasses.  Maybe it was her glasses or maybe she had been mean to us in the park.  I don't know.  It was probably something to do with her glasses.  Did I mention she wore glasses?

Because she did.  She wore glasses.  It was terrible.

Dale and I decided we had been wronged by AmanadaGlasses for one reason or another (most likely because she was a girl with glasses and we didn't like her) and we needed to get back at her.  So we pooled our villainy together and did the most devious and dastardly thing we could think of.

We let the air out of her bike tires.

And then we dropped the caps from the wheels down the sewer.

Evil!

Dale and I goofing off like crazy mischievous little snot-balls are supposed to.

Now, we may have been acting like rotten kids but we did have a conscience.  Not enough of a conscience to turn ourselves in though.  Like all evil masterminds, we didn't want to be caught and thrown in prison for our villainy so we decided we needed to go into hiding in case AmandaGlasses or worse, her parents, came looking for us.

So we raided the box in my closet marked "winter clothes" and got some large coats and scarves so we could be incognito.  We didn't want our faces to be seen by anyone either, so we got our Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Hallowe'en masks out too.  And that's how we walked around the neighborhood for a couple hours or so.

Oh, and this was the middle of summertime too.  The weather report wasn't calling for winter jackets.

It wasn't long before AmandaGlasses figured us out and told on us to my mother.

If there's a moral to this story, it's that justice should always prevail.  Instead of buying AmandaGlasses new bike tires, she agreed to let Dale give her his own bike.  Days and weeks went by and Dale never did give her that bike.  And AmandaGlasses moved out of the neighborhood shortly after.

Evil wins!

- ryan of the ryan fan club

...and this was us plotting our next tirade of villainy!

My Son Seems to Love Alice Cooper

A couple weeks ago, my son Grayson was throwing a bit of a temper tantrum.

Nothing really new for a two-month old child.  Sometimes when Grayson is crying I try to settle him down by singing or humming to him.  That's also nothing new; parents have been trying that old trick for centuries.

She asked me why the singer's name was Alice

Often times, I'll hum some classic movie themes - something from Star Wars or Superman.  Usually, if I hum the Princess Leia theme he chills right out and goes to sleep.  It's pretty soothing, I guess.  But this time, no such luck.  The power of the Force wasn't about to save me from the oncoming headache.

So I started singing, "Only Women Bleed" by Alice Cooper.  Granted, at the time I had been reading Alice's autobiography, "Golf Monster", and the song was fresh in my mind.  I've always been a big Alice Cooper fan, so I had no problem remembering the lyrics.  And let's face it - "Only Women Bleed" is a fucking killer song.  Give it a listen.  I can wait the five minutes or so.

"Only Women Bleed" didn't just calm Grayson down though... he started smiling.  Does my two-month old son like Alice Cooper?

So I tried something else... "No More Mr. Nice Guy"... big smiles!
"Under My Wheels"... smiling and laughing!
"I'm Eighteen"... smiling, laughter, and kinda sorta singing along.
"Poison"... all of the above.

Okay, by singing along, I mean he made lots of noise during the song. But, he wasn't crying!  So I like to thing he was singing along.

A few days later, instead of breaking out the Princess Leia theme, I went right into "School's Out", and the smiles, laughter, and noises came right back... but this time they were joined by Grayson's hands in the air, kind of not unlike a fist pump.

I'm so glad that both of my kids are developing a good taste in music at such a young age.
(Ryleigh also has a strict Aerosmith lullaby routine at bedtime and was quite upset when she thought her "Dream On" CD was broken...)

I guess he's just my billion dollar baby.

- ryan of the ryan fan club 

Cute or creepy?  My Lovely Wife nixed the 1st picture of Grayson in Alice paint I tried using, so we've got this one.