Top 11 Great Reasons to Love Yourself

In honor of the release of my new single, "Menage A Moi", let's take a look at the Top 11 reasons to love yourself.



scientific science at work.

10. You don't have to pay for a movie or dinner.  Think of the moolah you'll save by not dating.

9. You don't have to look your best.  You could just wear smelly sweat pants... or an old Ultimate Warrior t-shirt... or nothing but socks...

8. Nobody else is going to do it for you, you fugly bastard.

7. If you're an attractive woman, you could make serious cash online doing it.  Don't ask me how.  I'm neither wealthy, nor an attractive woman.

6. It's been proven by scientific science that doing it will kill either a kitten or Tony Danza.  Help control the Tony Danza population.

5. You get to be the master. Or, in some parts of Europe, you get to be the "mastur".

4. Frequent instances of loving yourself will help to keep the almond farmers employed.  At least it should.  Eat lots of almonds folks!

3. You could write a new book!  Yeah! With enough practice and determination you could write "The Kama Sutra For One".

2. Most religions consider it a sin.  And admit it, when you sin, you feel pretty cool.

1. It's Friday.

So the next time you feel like loving yourself, for whatever reason, go ahead and do it while listening to "Menage A Moi".  I won't be creeped out at all by that.  The song is about three and a half minutes, so for some of you that means you'll have to put it on repeat.  For the rest of you, if you finish before the first chorus is done I'll be mighty disappointed... or impressed if you're a chick, cause that would be really efficient work on your part.

Ta ta!

- r

Lollipop Chainsaw

...for the record, I've only made it past the first level of this game, and it's the pretty much the greatest game I've ever played.  And I've finished Bubble Bobble twice.

A cheerleader, who just turned eighteen, running around with a chainsaw and killing zombies appeals to all six of my lowest common denominators.

The guy at EB Games said, "It's okay, but it gets really repetitive really fast," when I asked him about it.  Then he suggested I buy the last game from the same developers because, "it's pretty much one continuous penis joke."

Uh... okay, I think I'll spend my time ogling the cheerleader with the chainsaw.

Did I mention that our hero's boyfriend is voiced by Michael Rosenbaum?  Mother fuckin' Lex friggin' Luthor!  Awwww yeah!

The controls aren't too hard either.  Keep in mind, my video game history revolves mostly around classic NES games and the NHL series.  I'm not used to these "serious" gamer games.  I'm really tempted to include a joke about my Wii here, but I'll let you use your imagination. 

All in all, I'd give this a game four out of... aww fuck it, it has a cheerleader with a chainsaw!  This games rules!

- ryan

Menage A Moi - single cover art!

As we get closer and closer to the release of Untitled Album, I can't help but keep your taste buds chomping... so here's the cover artwork for the first single from the album, Menage A Moi, in all it's glory!

Did I mention we're filming a video for this one too?

It's a collaborative effort with the great Peter Fairley, who you may remember as the filmographer for many of the classic scenes in "Behind The Fan Club".

It's gonna be awesome.

Stay tuned!

- ryan